3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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