What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
