she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
