I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize