Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They have beer where we have blood.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
