3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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