stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
