ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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