I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
