So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
