she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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