Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
