I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
