Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
