i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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