You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
