I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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