We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize