She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize