Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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