i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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