we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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