don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
