Since when is my name a synonym for head?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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