i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
