Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
