The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
