Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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