This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
