i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize