At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
