Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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