if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
