Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
