there's paper in my vomit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
