Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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