Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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