Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
