He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
