So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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