Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
