Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize