his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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