You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
