i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
