So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
