I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
