I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
