i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize