Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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