I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I have post one night stand depression
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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