omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
