I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We don't watch enough power rangers
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
