so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
