If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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