this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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