i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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