I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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