Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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